Ladies have been cautioned against seeing relationship with their male counterparts as a do or die affair as the consequence could be dire in the likely event such an association breaks down in the future.
Renowned author and marriage counselor, Frank Edem Adofoli also cautions ladies into believing that saying yes to a man’s proposal is an automatic certificate that could lead to marriage explaining that it is far from the reality.
He schools ladies into understanding that dating only provides them the opportunity to understudy the other and see if he suits them culminating into marriage at a later time.
“Unfortunately since lots of women see the relationship as a world cup or a ‘do and die’ affair, they love with their heart and when they are in, they are in for good, as such a lot mistaken remorse for a change.
When they find out their boyfriends are showing unacceptable behaviours, instead of insisting he changes or they leave the relationship, many are swept away by the remorse their boyfriends show.
Guys who are players especially take advantage of such ladies. Anytime they are caught cheating, they are able to put up acts by crying, swearing heaven and earth not to do it again, and also involve others”, he disclosed in his latest article sighted by MyNewsGh.com
Read full text of the article below;
LOTS OF LADIES MISTAKE REMORSE FOR CHANGE
One of the mistakes lots of ladies make these days in the name of relationship is that, they believe once they say yes to a man’s proposal it will lead into marriage. Once they are in a relationship it is going to last forever but the truth be told, it’s not so. That’s why it’s call Dating; which means studying someone for marriage. It’s likely he might not be the right person for you, it doesn’t matter how much you like him.
Relationships last as long as couples are working for it. It falls apart as soon as one or both partners stop working at it. And in every relationship there is work to do because the man and woman are different and are constantly changing as part of growth. To be able to fit together in a relationship, there is work to be done.
Unfortunately since lots of women see the relationship as a world cup or a ‘do and die’ affair, they love with their heart and when they are in, they are in for good, as such a lot mistaken remorse for a change.
When they find out their boyfriends are showing unacceptable behaviours, instead of insisting he changes or they leave the relationship, many are swept away by the remorse their boyfriends show.
They continue to repeat the same behaviours. Some of these relationships eventually lead to marriages just for the lady to realize he is not going to change now or ever. They have to live with the negative behaviour
Feeling remorseful is not the same as change or repentance. Remorse is just a display of one’s emotion but it does not mean the person has changed or decided to change. Change of mind is work. Until the person comes to the realization that they don’t like what they are doing and want to change, they won’t change.
Ladies sometimes forget that they themselves show these emotions especially at church services, when a message hits them, they rush to the altar to shed tears but many continue to do the same things afterwards. Remorse or regret is never change and you should not mistake it as one.
I am not saying you should not forgive your partner when they go wrong in a relationship. Please forgive but remember forgiving does not only mean you should give them another chance to continue doing the same thing and show remorse for it
Forgiving them also means, knowing that showing remorse is not the same as they have changed and if they are not willing to change, you should move on without them. After all relationship is a work, if they are not willing to work on themselves by themselves for the betterment of the relationship, there is no need putting up with them in the name of love. You can love someone so deep and still can’t change them.
You should not rely on their words that “I will change”. Always rely on the effort they are making, for that is better than words. If they are not making any effort to change, open the door for them to go. Don’t follow remorse and empty words, else you are making them stand in the door way. They will keep blocking traffic for the right person coming your way.
In conclusion “When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful” – Proverbs 29:18 (NLT).
Source: MyNewsGh.com
